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Author
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Topic: Stupid, stupid local advertising
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Kevin Ott
True Believer
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posted 03-22-2001 11:11 PM
   
Is it me, or is there a real dearth of advertising talent at the local level no matter where you live? Whether it's cheap Italian restaurants or bridal boutiques, there never seems to be a shortage of crappy local commercials that come on about every five minutes on the non-premium cable stations.Here we have a commercial for www.blairchamber.com, the chamber of commerce for Altoona and the surrounding county (if you go to the website, you'll get a nice picture of where I live). It consists of a bunch of high school students dancing around and rapping about getting a job after school (You might even find your pot of gold/Right in your neighborhood). It's nice to see local efforts to keep young people working in the area, but boy is it cheesy. Even worse is a billboard for a local exterminator that's been showing up all over central PA. On the left side is a picture of a bipedal anthropomorphic mouse who is obviously very upset about something, as is evidenced by his turned-down eyebrows and the dust puffing up from beneath his feet to indicate that he is jumping up and down in great frustration. On the right side are the words, "Give a bug an inch he'll take a yard." Okay. First of all, a quick lesson in zoological classifications: MICE AREN'T BUGS. Seriously. Has anyone else ever been confused on this issue? Do they think it's something people will just gloss over? I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm not sure I want to hire an exterminator who doesn't know the difference between an insect and a mammal: ME: So did you get the termites? EXTERMINATOR: Yeah. I also took care of that big cockroach that was laying on your mattress. ME: Cockroach? EXTERMINATOR: Yeah, the furry one. ME: That was the cat. EXTERMINATOR: Whoops. Oh well -- if I didn't get him, that big hairy moth would have. ME: You mean my roommate? EXTERMINATOR: Whoops. And even if we assume for one crazy minute that mice are bugs -- Why is the mouse upset? He's being given an inch and he's taking a mile. You'd think this would be something he'd be pleased about. Lord. |
Dave Thomer
Guardian of Peace and Justice in the Galaxy
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posted 03-23-2001 02:26 AM
I can't help but think part of it's budget related, and another part of me thinks that a lot of smaller businesses don't care so much about being creative or having a reputation for high quality as opposed to just getting their name out as much as possible. My uncle manages a couple of small chains and I remember several years ago he was trying to get radio ads designed. The most important thing about them was the massive repetition of the business name, and that was certainly accomplished. I thought it was accomplished in such an annoying way that I would have considered avoiding this chain out of spite -- but I appear to be in a minority on that score.National and big-bidget advertisers, on the other, are probably more likely to try and balance the aesthetic and commercial needs, which is why we often see campaigns that are fairly memorable, but do a rotten job of getting the brand itself across. (Lots of people, for example, though the 'that's a spicy meatball' commercial was for tomato sauce, not Alka-Seltzer, if my memory serves me correctly.) |
Andrew Wester
One of the Regulars
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posted 03-23-2001 02:17 PM
To talk about repeating the business name in a radio comercial, we recently had a new CD/coffee house open up in what used to be a REALLY good coffee house in Collegetown. On the radio comercial for this new place they same the name of this new place, and where it is at least 30 times in a 60 second ad. I will be avoiding this place just for the fact that I really hate that comercial |
slgorman
One of the Regulars
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posted 05-10-2001 11:42 PM
A local jeweler, The Shane Company, goes on a radio airtime buying frenzy every other week or so. They switch from station to station with the same incredibly boring, monotone guy (who happens to own the chain, so it's not like they can just get a better pitchman or something) droning on and on and on about how it's May or June and your bride-to-be/graduate/mother/father/significant other should have some special trinket from their stores. In the most boring, lengthy, horrid, chewing and digesting glass voice. It makes me want to ram my beautiful car into the center divider. At high speed. You can escape them by avoiding the current "favorite" station, but they eventually pop up everywhere, no matter what type of radio station format (alternative, top 40, metal, whatever). This time of year, as you can imagine, is especially torturous. And as God as my witness, I have repeatedly sworn, "I will never shop there! Even if they were giving away free diamonds, I would drive miles out of my way to avoid their stores!" And I'm not the only one whom these ads have soured on their stores. I wonder how much more business they would get if they stopped, forever, their radio ad campaign?[Edited because I'm on hour 12 at work, and if you don't think that's a good enough reason, I believe we shall have to have words.] [This message has been edited by slgorman (edited 05-10-2001).] |
Earl Green
True Believer
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posted 01-08-2002 02:25 PM
Not to defend anyone in the making of lousy local ads, but sometimes there's a rift between the sales and production departments who desperately need to coordinate to get this stuff done. I myself have turned out plenty of lackluster spots in my radio and TV careers, but never spots that the clients didn't approve. Some of my worst memories center around a local Indian casino just across the border in Oklahoma, for which I had to produce two spots PER WEEK back around 1995/96/97. Their sales rep at the station voiced the stuff, and in addition to being a lousy writer, he wasn't the greatest voice in the world, throwing all of his tobacco-product-diminished lungpower at the microphone in what sometimes came across as an overly excited death rattle. More often than not, he was trying to cram 40 seconds worth of copy into a 30 second spot, but one time he ran seriously short, and he realized it, so he just shouted "BINGO! BINGO! BINGO BINGO!" to fill out the time, much to my amazement, amusement, and embarrassment. I had worked with this same sales rep when he and I were both in radio, and he once asked me to do "something creative" for a new Mexican restaurant called the Taco Place. I asked him for specifics, what the client wanted in it, etc., and was given only a business card with the name of the restaurant, the phone number, and the address - and an assurance that this was all the sales rep had.So I did the only thing I could do. A co-worker of mine and I sang the Monty Python "I like traffic lights" song with new lyrics: "I like the Taco Place. I like the Taco Place. I like the Taco Place. That is what I said."...and so forth. For some reason, the client didn't approve that one, but seemed reluctant to part with any further information about their menu, their specialties, their friendly staff, etc. to help us out. So with a CIA-worthy crackdown on all information about their food, I managed to crank out a stunningly generic spot which mentioned where they were and when they're open, and not much else. I think they closed three weeks after their grand opening. Sometimes, you just have to hand the golden winners' cup to the fine minds in the sales department - after beating them about the head with it. |
Earl Green
True Believer
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posted 04-11-2002 07:13 PM
I suppose I should present some actual evidence of my own stupid local advertising, having engaged in the aforementioned act of beating others about the head.Sometimes we're asked to do news promos for which we are given tons of footage and lots of cooperation. The results in these rare and precious cases are priceless. (link removed) So too are the occasionally Monty Python-esque results when we have no footage...and no cooperation. (link removed) Perhaps I'm in the wrong line of work. (Sorry about the non-links - I took 'em off my server a while back to save space. And I figured everyone had looked at the bunnies 'n' stuff by now.) [This message has been edited by Earl Green (edited 07-16-2002).] |
Dave Thomer
Guardian of Peace and Justice in the Galaxy
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posted 08-08-2002 11:43 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Kevin Ott:
Okay. First of all, a quick lesson in zoological classifications: MICE AREN'T BUGS.
And neither are bats. (Sorry. Calvin and Hobbes reference.) There's a local beer distributor that has been running a bunch of ads on cable . . . these ads are not only offensive in their pandering, brain cells commit suicide rather than consider them. In one of them, a rather busty female pouts and whines, "My shirt is so tight I can't even open my beer!" . . . If you can figure out the causal link between those two statement, please let me know. I don't want to think about it any more. |
slgorman
One of the Regulars
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posted 08-09-2002 03:08 PM
I don't know how local is example is as I've seen them in all parts of California (I believe in high school we might have relocated one, even)--On sign in Taco Bell window, "Now hiring friendly people!" Yes, the exclaimation point is there in the sign. And is this a new hiring policy from the one where you hired grouches? |
Kevin Ott
True Believer
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posted 08-09-2002 11:36 PM
I've seen that sign on a variety of fast food places, sl, and frequently wonder if it's in a suggestion book given to new franchisees. I've always wanted to get the restaurant in question into a lot of trouble by replacing the word "friendly" with another word, like "Asian" or "crippled."By the way, is there some book out there for pastors that gives them ideas of what to spell out on their churches' magnetic signs? Because I've been noticing a proliferation of sort-of-witty-but-not-quite-enough-to-make-you-chuckle messages on church signs, like "God answers knee-mail" and the like. Knee-mail. Heh. |
Dave Thomer
Guardian of Peace and Justice in the Galaxy
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posted 08-09-2002 11:41 PM
The knee mail thing must have been passed around at a conference or something. Either that or churches have people assigned to patrl the neighborhoods and identify what strike them as witty phrases. Because I've spotted the knee mail thing at a bunch of places since I first pointed it out in the Humor in the Streets thread.I'm not a very religious person these days, which is a good thing, I suppose, because these slogans actually make me less inclined to step into the church, much like the aforementioned beer ads make me less likely to drink. So maybe they're a public service. I dunno. |
Brian Thomer
One of the Regulars
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posted 08-10-2002 02:10 AM
Damn, do I ever hate those church signs! They're not funny! They're not witty! I'm not bitter! Whoops, how did that one get in there....? Ummm.... I'm gonna go lay down now... |
Earl Green
True Believer
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posted 08-12-2002 01:47 AM
There's a church not too far from the house where I grew up, and while they too have their share of witty sayings on their magnetic sign board, that sign board is topped off by the most gaudy, ugly sign you've ever seen, more befitting an eatery desperate for attention than a place of worship. My mom used to call it the "Pizza Pentecostal" (for that was the denomination in question) every time we drove by.For some reason that came back to me whilst reading this thread, but if indeed there was a point, I don't know what it is. |
Stephanie
One of the Regulars
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posted 08-12-2002 08:47 AM
There's a sign in downtown Brooklyn for a pet store. They advertise that they have puppies, kittens, and hand-fed baby parrots. Why are they feeding hands to the baby parrots?  |
Stephanie
One of the Regulars
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posted 11-12-2002 11:12 AM
This isn't so much local advertising, but have any of you seen the new Visa check card commercial with Charlie Sheen? Just in case, I won't give away the twist, but I love it when celebrities are able to make fun of themselves. |
slgorman
One of the Regulars
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posted 11-12-2002 03:41 PM
That Visa ad is the bomb. Love it.
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Earl Green
True Believer
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posted 07-17-2003 09:10 PM
There's a new ad running for a local seafood restaurant on both TV and radio, and dandy little country-fried jingle that includes the charmingly forward-thinking lyric:"Mom, turn off that stove!
Let's just go to Catfish Cove!" But that was NOWHERE near as alarming as the recent ad campaign run by a local funeral home, shown over a montage of a little girl and - presumably - her grandfather sitting at a graveside bench as a childlike voice sings the following to a cheery little tune: "They don't have to have been pres-i-dents,
To deserve a beautiful mon-u-ment.
Family and lifelong friends need one too.
You can show how much they meant,
With a Cotner monument.
Memorials of distinction since 1872!" |
Pattie Gillett
True Believer
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posted 07-24-2003 11:34 AM
FYI, the "Sheens" Visa ad got an Emmy nomination. I'd say that's pretty good use of all the extra Sheens that are running around. | |
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