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Author
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Topic: Fifteen Minutes of Your Life You Will Never Get Back (December 2001)
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Dave Thomer
Guardian of Peace and Justice in the Galaxy
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posted 12-03-2001 10:25 PM
   
The December Humor update is now online. |
Pattie Gillett
True Believer
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posted 12-03-2001 10:26 PM
Hey, I'm a firm believer in fighting for your right to waste time on the Internet. In fact, I often have to considering that Dave and I share our connection. (The priest should have said "in sickness and in health and with two computers vying for the same 56K connection." My answer would have been the same but I still like to know these things upfront.)Forget saving time or money or increasing productivity. The Internet helps in the following monumental way: it helps you spend less time doing the stuff you hate which gives you more time to waste on the 'Net. For example, I just spent an hour and a half on Amazon.com and my Christmas shopping is 95% done. Done. Have I mentioned that I hate Christmas shopping? This is not even counting the time (and money) I saved talking to my family on the phone (long-distance) trying to drag their Christmas wish lists out of them. I just sent them emails that said, in a nutshell, "Give me a list of things you want and if the planets are aligned and Amazon offers free shipping, you just might get one or two of them." Now I have more time to read fake news stories on The Onion.com, commiserate with other pregnant women on epregnancy.com, browse for recipes on Epicurious.com, exchange Topfive.com lists with Kevin, instant message with various family members, inch closer to my 1000th post on this site and, if I have time, read articles on GoodHousekeeping.com about how today's working woman is spread too thin. Did I also mention I saved $20 on shipping? |
Kevin Ott
True Believer
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posted 12-03-2001 10:27 PM
I once spent two hours reading a list of pickup lines that some person had spent far more time compiling and coding so as to put on a website that idiots like me could spend the better part of their time reading these idiot phrases that nobody in their right mind would use ("Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world!"). Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I linked to the site from somewhere on our very own message boards. So we can all rest assured that this site is contributing something. For instance: If I told you you had a nice body, would you hold it against me? Stuff like that.Forget the fact that, as I've said, nobody in the world would actually use these pickup lines as a means of breaking the ice or getting someone into bed, unless they were attempting to make the target individual laugh so hard that his or her Merlot shot out his or her nose, and then they could talk about how ironic it is that wine, which is described by wine scholars, or oenologists, as having a "nose," would shoot out of somebody's nose, and then maybe that discussion would lead to the individuals in question having sex or a relationship or something. Forget that. The point is that the Internet is full of useless information. Or something. I don't know. Really, I stopped knowing what I was talking about around the point where I found myself using the word "oenologists." Anyway, I've got to go wash my space pants.
[This message has been edited by Kevin Ott (edited 12-03-2001).] |
Earl Green
True Believer
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posted 12-04-2001 01:07 AM
I'm sort of a 'net limbo-dweller. I don't spend as much time actively doing stuff online as I do preparing material for next week's web site update. I love doing it, but it's the monster which must be fed, y'know? I must go forth and find a worthy sacrifice, lest armies of rabid video game and/or Star Trek fans threaten to tear me from limb to limb.My wife would tell you that I spend excessive amounts of time online...and she is both quite right and very, very wrong. It's all about feeding the monster.  |
slgorman
One of the Regulars
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posted 12-04-2001 12:40 PM
It's not so much that I waste an inordinate amount of time on the 'net, I've come to accept that as part of my own personal living circle of hell that I enjoy and crave. I mean, I'm not a 'groupie' over at MBTV for nothing, folks. It's just I find myself becoming periodically moronic when I log on for a purpose. For example, I'm moving soon and I'm using this as a really good excuse to get some new stuff--bed, towels, throw rugs, crap like that. So I go upstairs, log on for the sole purpose of scouring ikea.com for prices and ideas, perhaps even do some shopping. So once the internet connection is all hunky-dory I figure I'll check in the multitude of various places I visit...oh yeah need to check the email...oh I should post this or answer that...now I get tired and shut the computer down. All without even getting anywhere near a site selling the housewares I'm in the market for. So I guess this all boils down to the internet not being so good for those of us who are easily distracted. Or something. Gotta go actually shop for stuff, finally. Right after I check my email....  |
Pattie Gillett
True Believer
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posted 12-04-2001 01:06 PM
It's really all about multi-tasking, people: while I browse Amazon or Lands End for gifts, I can read the news or other stuff I am actually interested in doing in a another window. If I were out shopping, I'd just be out shopping (and yelling a few choice words at the &*%$#*@!*(^ who stole the last parking spot). [This message has been edited by Pattie Gillett (edited 12-04-2001).] |
Dave Thomer
Guardian of Peace and Justice in the Galaxy
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posted 01-14-2002 10:48 PM
Oh, I am the king of the multi-tasking, but invariably, I'm just doing more stuff that has no point. I just read an article about a Cosby Show reunion, for crying out loud. But we're not in the 'Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time' thread, so never mind. | |
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