posted 10-10-2001 01:04 AM               

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So, what I'm getting here from this piece (in addition to the fact that reports of the death of irony have been vastly exaggerated by none other than Vanity Fair) is that your muggers, who are by no means representative of the entire mugging profession, were actually polite, pleasant fellows. I mean, they said "Please" and "Thank You" and apologized for inconveniencing you. You have to think, somewhere, sometime, what their mothers said to them about always being polite got through. Too bad the stuff about not leading a life of crime didn't take but we can't have it all.

I also think that that kind of courtesy is refreshing in these times. I've met nuns who don't say "Please" and "Thank You." Perhaps it has something to do with being satisfied in your chosen profession. I don't know. It is something to ponder, though.

posted 10-10-2001 01:05 AM               

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I don’t know what it is about being mugged that makes your brain shut off. Maybe it’s the unreality of the situation, I don’t know. But when Kev talked about the negotiations between himself and the mugger, I had to laugh. When I got mugged last year, I was on the way to the train station, a bottle of iced tea in my hand as usual. The mugger pointed his gun at us, and I looked back at the Owl Watch guard station not fifty yards behind me, and the university police watch station not fifty yards in front of me, and marveled at the irony (which had not yet been declared dead by Vanity Fair). Then a voice in my head said,

“I wonder how I could get the cops’ attention. Maybe I could hit him with the Snapple bottle.”

No sooner did I have this thought than another voice interrupted:

“That is the dumbest thing you have ever thought in your entire life.”

I was glad that someone in my brain was still thinking, because I clearly was not.

posted 10-30-2001 02:40 PM               

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That's the difference between a professional mugger and an amateur.

Heck, I bet he's even a member of the union.