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Author
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Topic: Questions to Expect While You're Expecting (December 2001)
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Pattie Gillett
True Believer
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posted 12-03-2001 10:21 PM
   
This month's Life in Practice update is now online. |
Kevin Ott
True Believer
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posted 12-03-2001 10:22 PM
Actually, Pattie, I don't see a belly. You're five months pregnant, and I have yet to see a belly. I'm wondering if you guys are just making all this up so you can maybe start an underground Osh Kosh B'Gosh fence ring or something.I always enjoyed the story about how, when my mother was pregnant with me, she would frequently eat meals that consisted of a plate of spaghetti and an entire can of ground parmesan cheese. I've always been a big parmesan fan myself, and I wonder if it's related to those cravings my mom had two and a half decades ago. I always liked the name "Caleb" for a boy, and if I'm ever able to settle down with a nice woman and knock her up, I'll rally pretty hard for that name. I used to like the name "Emily," partially because it's a cool name and partially because it would be my name if I were female, but then I went and dated a woman named Emily who made my life a living nightmare from which it seemed the only escape was death. That kind of soured me to the whole Emily thing. I'm not sure if my name was a trendy one, but I do wonder why so many people insist on calling me "Keith." I mean, they don't even sound the same. Yeah, people say they have the same first letter, but, you know, so do pants and pterodactyl, and you don't see a bunch of Japanese people calling on Godzilla to fight a giant pair of Dockers that's attacking Tokyo. I mean, there are plenty of people out there making my name a household word: We all love Kevin Spacey, and there's that Best Buy commercial with the guy named Kevin, and who can forget the irritating main character from The Wonder Years? But everyone still calls me Keith. Me, I'm hoping for a boy, so I can try and get Dave and Pattie to name him Keith. |
Dave Thomer
Guardian of Peace and Justice in the Galaxy
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posted 12-03-2001 10:23 PM
See, I don’t get half of these questions from people -- as the father, I guess I'm just assumed to be less interesting. (Which is probably true.) And when I do get them, I can’t get some of them right. Take the ‘how far along are you’ (or in my case’ how far along is she/) question. In addition to what Pattie says about the weeks/months scales, there’s a difference between the age of the baby and how long you’ve been pregnant – they actually start tracking the latter from a period prior to the conception of the baby. So there are a couple of weeks where you’re only pregnant retroactively, and when people ask me how far along Pattie is, I can never decide which date I should start counting from.And if there’s no right answer for a pregnant woman to give to the question ‘How much weight have you gained,’ there is equally no right answer for the husband of a pregnant woman to give to the question, ‘I look really big, don’t I?’ (You’d think the right answer would be ‘No.’ Silly fool. First of all, the wife will continue to insist. Second of all, she will begin to be concerned that she has not gained enough weight and is somehow starving the baby, thus proving her to be an unfit mother before the child is even born.) And in case anyone’s wondering, I’ve been craving pizza lately. But I’ll bet that has little to do with the baby. |
Pattie Gillett
True Believer
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posted 12-07-2001 02:32 PM
You'll notice that I did not include "Have you had any mood swings?" on that list of questions.FYI, there's a woman in my office who is also pregnant; she's about a month and a half behind me time wise. In a fit of hormonal rage (to which she readily admits) she kicked her husband out of the house and when the poor schlub snuck back in and tried to steal a nap on the couch, she woke him up by raking her fingernails down his face. There's an office pool going around about which of his bones will be broken during the delivery. |
Pattie Gillett
True Believer
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posted 12-12-2001 03:57 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Kevin Ott:
Actually, Pattie, I don't see a belly. You're five months pregnant, and I have yet to see a belly. I'm wondering if you guys are just making all this up so you can maybe start an underground Osh Kosh B'Gosh fence ring or something.
It's surprising what a couple of weeks will do. You should see me (or rather, us, now). Little munchkin has had a growth spurt. I'm going over the to nostalgia thread and pine for my long-lost waist.
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Pattie Gillett
True Believer
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posted 07-23-2002 11:13 AM
The follow-up to this is, how was the delivery? I hate to say this but it's all a blur. I know it hurt for a while, I know there was screaming involved at some point, and then we had a baby. Dave is probably the better one to ask, he did it without drugs and I'm very proud of him for that. |
Earl Green
True Believer
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posted 07-23-2002 01:59 PM
Weird thing is, I'm a couple thousand miles away and whenever Dave just calmly e-mailed that the baby had arrived in one piece, I had about a kajillion questions which he answered, as best he could, as calmly as can be. I know I badgered my brother the same way when my niece was born - the usual "Is everyone okay? What's she look like?" (My brother's answer: "Ummmm...a sleeping baby.") That sort of thing.Dunno why I was so excited. Oh wait - heck yeah I do. It's because it's someone ELSE'S kid - I can spoil 'em, but I don't necessarily have to change 'em.  |
Dave Thomer
Guardian of Peace and Justice in the Galaxy
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posted 07-31-2002 01:53 AM
Calm is not the word I'd use, Earl. 'Stunned by the surreality of it all,' perhaps.  | |
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