The Adventures of Consultant Woman
A few weeks ago, I was taking the GMAT (the business school entrance exams for those who may not know) and I got to thinking. Actually, It may not have actually been thinking, per se, it may have just been that while I was strip mining my brain in search of 11th grade trigonometry, I ran into some half-formed thoughts, which I am now going to share with you. In any case, I thought to myself, “Well this is it. I just paid $200 to take this big test so I can go back to school and get an MBA. Me, a woman who had once dreamed of being a lawyer so I could protect the innocent, a police officer so I could fight crime, a journalist so I could root out injustice. Today, I’ve decided to get an MBA so I can . . . consult.”
Two, no, three years ago, (oh, God) one of my college professors pulled me a aside to say that he’d be happy to write me a recommendation for grad school when the time came. I nearly laughed in his face. You see, he was my Marketing professor and he was talking about an MBA. At the time, I was in my “business school is for heartless capitalists” mode. I was ferociously liberal (yes, even more so) and my fiancée and I were both planning to get graduate liberal arts degrees. Him, Philosophy, me Communications and/or American Studies. We were going to get our degrees, spend a few years with pickaxes trying to find tenured university positions, and settle down with modest, tweed-focused wardrobes. Yes, I was a very odd 21-year old.
Somewhere along the line, the academic haze lifted (even if it hadn’t, we decided we needed to eat more than we needed tweed). I decided to be all indecisive about my future because there is a definite shortage of twenty-somethings playing that gig. I got a job, then another one, and just for kicks, another one. Then something really annoying happened, I found out I was good at my new job. It was challenging, there was room for advancement, and I was using my talents. I tell you, the day I realized that, I was so pissed. The whole liking what you do throws you for a loop so it took me a while to get my bearings. Luckily, I wasn’t so happy that I didn’t notice at least a few things in my company that could be improved, a few policies that needed tweaking, and a few things that were outright stupid. It’s a little gift I have.
So here I am, with a deskful of business school applications and a few merits to my names. To sum up, I’ve discovered, that I’m good at my job, generally have good ideas, have very good management instincts, above average writing and creative skills and sarcasm to spare. So what the hell, right? What else I’m I going to do with the next three years? Hell with these decision-making abilities, I should be running a Fortune 500 company now. But there’s protocol. Like anything else, an MBA is a credential. It’s a credential that I need to have my ideas taken seriously. Without it, I’m just another know-it-all liberal college grad whose bleeding heart leaves stains in the conference room. With an MBA, hopefully I’m the know-it-all they listen to because it’s cheaper to let me talk while than to keep replacing the upholstery.
Seriously, I can’t wait to start grad school. There’s just so much I want to learn I’m not sure I’ll even have enough time. Employee benefits, organizational management, workplace diversity, all this may sound like one level above toe jam to most people but it’s what I find interesting. Some people like Taxi reruns. I don’t pass judgment on them.
It’s not like I expect having an extra degree to be the answer to everything. When I consider the fact that my undergraduate degree basically gave me the right to fax moderately important documents I’m thinking I’m going to have to start small. I’m shooting for Overnight Fed Ex privileges. Work my way up from there.
So, if in 20 years, I’m a professional consultant, that wouldn’t be so bad. It may not be what a twelve-year old dreams about but it’s definitely honorable. I may not get to wear a badge but I’m kicking around the idea of wearing a t-shirt with big C on it from time to time. You see, it’s not really the job title that’s important, it’s what you do with it that counts. I have a conscience, I have a heart, and pretty soon I’ll be getting the education that I need to make an impact in the kind of job I want. Most importantly, I have the willingness to start a business and call it Here to Fix What You’ve Screwed Up Consulting Inc. Really, once you’ve got that, what else do you need?
