So, over the holidays, did anyone else endure the bizarre Discovery Channel / Animal Planet special The Future Is Wild? According to that little show about the evolution of life on Earth 100-200 million years from now, everything’s going to turn into some kind of squid. Squids on land, squids in the sea, squids for you and squids for me. I kid you not, the whole show really seemed to be steered by unnamed “experts” who have a tentacle fetish.
Now, don’t get me wrong, the production values were amazing – a deceptively slick-looking mix of CGI, live-action, and simple shots of stuff like churning water to suggest the movement of giant squids, all earnestly narrated as though we’re pretty sure that Earth’s ecosystem is, even now, gearing itself toward squid. (And what of humanity? Oh, we ditched this mudball centuries ago, establishing colonies elsewhere, and we sent a probe back, through whose eyes all these multifarious squid-descendants are seen for the purposes of this special. Silly…don’t they know we’re going to evolve into Vorlons or something?)
With that in mind, I have some predictions of my own. Call it an inkling of our squid-filled future, with predictions aplenty of calamari calamity: Read the remainder of this entry »